This STRANGE Technique Will Help You Overcome Fear
This might sound wild, but I spiral on purpose.
I’m a big fan of counterintuitive advice because, as humans, we instinctively reject it. When it looks like it won’t make sense, we conclude that it doesn’t. This is where we miss out on life-changing solutions that are hiding in plain sight.
I let myself go down that fear spiral at full intensity. I let myself experience my worst fears to the point I’m choking on my tears. I let myself drown in the doom and despair as if I were truly living it. I go so far down that the lines between imagination and reality become a blur.
You’ve barely scratched the surface of how powerful your imagination is.
I learned how to weaponize spiralling (and a vivid imagination) and use it to my advantage. I call it the ‘Fearsmithing’ technique. Since applying this technique, I have overcome my worst internal fears, and I assure you that with practice, you too can overcome yours.
The vividness of your imagination is the key to mental resilience and liberation from fear. The one thing you thought was a weakness might be your biggest strength. In my workbooks and programs, visualization exposure is a highly effective technique I teach people to overcome their phobias.
What is Fearsmithing?
‘Fearsmithing’ involves creating a mental simulation of your deepest fear and living inside of it, not to suffer pointlessly but to forge resilience and find acceptance or resolution.
When Can I Use Fearsmithing?
I recommend using fearsmithing for deep-rooted fears (such as loss, uncertainty, pain, failure, etc.) as opposed to phobias because fearsmithing and phobia exposure are two different types of exposure, each serving its own purpose.
Here’s a personal example:
For years, I had been tormented by two fears in particular:
Being diagnosed with a terminal illness like cancer or ALS
Losing my brother or my partner suddenly
These fears crippled me and kept me up at night for hours, probably more than the average person. My body would react to the grief as if it were really happening. It got to the point where I was having a visceral reaction almost every night, and instead of suffering through it, I stopped fighting it and let it consume me.
I gave the fear a purpose: to experience and study these fears within a mental simulation, where I actively challenge and reframe my thoughts amidst these emotions.
The secret formula is:
Intense visualization + High-intensity emotions
= Ideal environment for cognitive exposure
In this mental simulation, I was the terminally ill version of myself with only 6 months left. I lived inside her mind; I felt the impending doom, the panic, the gut-wrenching despair, the immense emotional pain; I saw the faces of my loved ones, and I was grieving the life I’d never live. It hurt like absolute hell. But something surprising happened in the simulation…
When everything was stripped away, including all my hopes and dreams, my mind still reached for the light.
I asked myself, “What would make me happy if I were a terminally ill cancer patient?” And I started to make a mental list of the little things:
Lying in a soft bed, snuggled up with a good book
A beautiful pink sunset
Laughing with my partner
A warm cup of herbal tea and a cozy TV show
Playing Monopoly with my partner
The sounds of rain outside
Dad jokes
And many more.
This Is Why Fearsmithing Works
When you go deep into your worst fears, you give your brain a chance to do these five things:
Process the fear instead of suppressing it
Find unexpected sources of strength or meaning
Detach from the outcome and focus on what matters
Live in the present, not the past or future
Find joy in the simplest of things
This is why you often see people on their deathbed having revelations about events in their lives. This is essentially the same thing, except it’s self-induced.
When you are attached to an outcome or a person, that fear transforms into a psychological rampage. One of the keys to overcoming fear and anxiety about the future is accepting that you might not get to live every dream. Attachment truly is the cause of suffering, as you may have seen in my example.
You have the power to reframe your thoughts and add joy to even the most fearful outcomes. It’s the light that keeps you going.
You need to realize that whatever happens, everything will be okay. Think of one thing that will make you happy in your most feared outcome, and latch onto that.
What is something productive and healthy that would alleviate the pain and suffering, even for a moment? Is it the laugh of a loved one? The taste of a cheeseburger? That sensation you get listening to your favourite song? A relaxing scalp massage? Helping a stranger?
This technique isn’t suitable for everyone; it may or may not work for you.***