Can Agoraphobia Be Cured?
In the three years I spent not leaving my house, I believed I would never have a life. I thought I would be living with my parents til I was 60 years old. Or if I did move out, I would pick a place that had everything I needed within a short walking distance, so I would never venture too far out of my comfort zone. Even that felt unmanageable, though. Thank goodness for online shopping and Uber Eats.
I was prepared to exist within these rigid parameters of fear. I accepted the fate of endless loneliness. I didn’t care about my future because I knew for a fact that I wouldn’t have one. I wanted to die, but I was too much of a coward to do it myself, so instead I abused my body with unhealthy food, poor hygiene and self-confinement. I really couldn't have cared less about what happened to me. I felt like I would never beat anxiety, and that it would hold me captive for the rest of my days.
This is what my life looked like for over 3 years.
“I’m never going to live a normal life”, I would say to myself.
I didn’t know of any other truth but that one.
I didn’t believe in possibilities.
My friendships & relationships resided within a phone screen. I never felt so disconnected from the outside world; it was as if I were watching everything through a window. A small, impenetrable window.
To describe the depths of that loneliness would be like trying to describe colours to a blind person.
Looking back now, 5 years later, I am happy to say this is no longer my reality. The struggle and suffering are over, and I have come out the other side victorious.
Anxiety no longer controls me. I am in complete control.
I learned of my strength and resilience, and through that, I have created a new life with new hopes and dreams. I’ve fallen so deeply in love, had experiences I never would have dreamed of, and achieved things that I didn’t think were possible for me.
I seriously underestimated myself, and that was my biggest mistake.
If you’re experiencing agoraphobia, I see you. I’ve been you. I know how poisonous it is and how it can render you incapacitated.
I want you to know that you will be okay. Your life isn’t over; it is just beginning. There’s a whole world out there waiting to be explored and experienced by you. So many laughs to be had and memories to be made.
You’re going to experience it all, I promise you.
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